Stood strong for a little too long

Stood strong for a long time 

But now with gloom I again climb

Have to start from the beginning 

Without falling or even trembling 

I relapsed, it happened again 

How could I let the blood drain?

It just happened, how I don't know 

In the dark the blade just glow 

Seeing it, felt so inviting 

The urge is what I kept fighting 

Finally I had to give in 

I finally, again had committed a sin

As the blood gushed out of my skin

I felt that he had had his win 

But still after this loss, again

I go back trying to regain 

Regain what I lost long ago 

Regain what might make me low 

I reminisce those times, still 

I feel it all that I had felt with thrill 

I relapsed and now I have to start 

Start again this time without breaking my heart

Proud

She is proud of herself  She can't tell you why 

You will judge, not because she is shy 

It's been a while since she held a blade

It's been a while since she has seen the blood red shade

She is proud, she has the right to be 

She smiles now, but still she isn't free

She isn't free from the thoughts that haunt her 

She isn't free from the tears that taunt her 

She is proud, yes she finally is 

But still inside confused and overwhelmed she is 

She could just keep smiling and pretending 

But that's like rules are bending 

It is not nice to fake for so long 

It's those thoughts that make it all so wrong 

The thoughts that she can't get out of her head 

The thoughts with which she goes to bed 

She is alright on the outside 

But inside she is just finding a place to hide 

She is proud, she has every right to be 

But even today she isn't free

Real beauty

Looking at herself in the mirror with a smile 

She poses and passes away a while 

Then it starts Her smile slowly fades away

As each peace of article is thrown away

As she strips down she starts feeling bad

Looking at her body, she starts to feel sad

She sees the scars, sees the fat

She thinks if she could cover her face with a hat 

She is embarrassed, yes she is 

She is suicidal but still wants to be his 

She knows she isn't worth anything to him 

She still wants to cater to all of his whim 

She is a tough girl we all should know 

Its just taking time for her to grow 

It'll take time but soon she'll realize 

That the real beauty lies inside

and she was lost

He left her there
taking her dreams
her hopes and aspirations
i know that was mean

she did not say a thing
she was too shocked for that
her heart couldnt even stop him
coz it was still suffering

where did it go wrong
what did she do
why did he leave her in the middle of nowhere
was her sin so strong

she gave it all she could
her mind,her body,her heart,her soul
she practically wrote her life to him
and hence now alone she stood

also she bears it all alone
the pain and the torture of being left
now that he is not with her anymore
one cannot find the traces of happiness in her tone

her laughter that flowed like a river
whose presence was enough to fill up the room
now squats in a corner as an anonymous identity
and is startled by a sudden shiver

the bold,the beautiful,the hale,the hearty
the words fail to relate to her anymore
gloom,despair and endless doom
she has lost all the faith in any pact or treaty

she is now as good as a ghost
as she is now described as the shadow of the man
coz her soul taken away by a storm
and it was the aftermath of the tempest,that she was lost

message to you

True you lost out on your dream guy

But have you ever wondered

If he was worth more than the smile on your face

Or if he was worth more than the happiness you would feel

When you were just being you……..

True he made you feel as if

You were on seventh heaven when with him

He made the world a beautiful place for you

But why do you ignore the fact

That the world that he made beautiful

Was visible to you and as ever beautiful

Before he came to your life

The reason it didn’t seem beautiful

Was you were simply too ignorant to realize it…..

True he made you realize yourself

He made you to believe in you

With him you knew you existed

But that also means your persona has existed since before

He was just the medium to bring it to light…..

I don’t say that he wasn’t important to you

What I say that you are important to yourself

I don’t hate you for being mad for him

What I wanna remind you is your madness about yourself

I truly love you for what you were

And hence want you to find yourself all over again

had to go

In this misery I've learnt to subside 
Not having you by my side
It has taught me quite a bit
Even if you were the perfect fit
You had to go, you had to give pain
You had to make me feel disdain
You have left me here in sorrow
Now my heart feels hollow
How much are you going to make me suffer
I hope when this is over I am tougher
I know I am forlorn
I know I am forever torn
But still I hope I am stitched up soon
And life again starts to feel like a boon

forever kind of love

You, my forever kind of love
Everything comes later, you're above
You're the one I trust without doubt
Only one I truly care about
You've given me so many miraculous times
Why am I supposed to end them with sad rhymes
Is it necessary for me to feel this misery
I try not to, but I feel really paltry
Despondent is how I feel daily
You've left me in a state of melancholy 
You say I can change it all
But its tough, I try and get up but then I fall
It keeps happening over and over again
I wanna stop, how do I refrain? 
You could have done a lot, changed it all
I wouldn't have had to do the crawl
Its important now, just please understand
The gesture I need doesn't have to be grand

don't go away

Don't go away
There may be no point 
But don't just sway
Our souls are joint 
Its not only me
Its not only you 
I can't set you free
Coz its us two
Don't go away
My heart will stop
Don't just sway
You will make me drop
Why is this happening
You are going so fast
My cheeks are dampening
This was meant to last
Don't go away
I beg you now, please
Don't just sway
I'll keep you at ease
I need you here with me
I need to keep you happy
I'm on my knee
You are making me sappy
Don't go away
Don't just sway
I beg you to stay
For me you're the sun's ray 
Nothing can happen 
Not without you 

crushed me

Is there any reason I'm still stuck on you? Why am I here, this without any clue You've changed me completely You've made me fall drastically I fell, you caught me mid way But after a while on the ground I lay I was crushed, is there anymore to it? I gave you my heart and you stomped on it Is there anything else for you to say? Explanations to that heartbeat in May? You proved to me that love doesn't last You proved it that what matters is the past You said you'd never let me go And I just went along the amazing flow I shouldn't have done what I did But you forgave me, you put a lid Then what sense does it make to leave like this How can you just stop loving, how can you diss No more does this world make sense You made tears fall that are so dense If you wanted to crush me, should've told me I wouldn't have been with you so closely But now its too late, you've done the harm You have broken in and set off the alarm Though my heart still beats for you It wants to hate you too You can't mend what is done now But start loving me again somehow?

promises

Promises, they are meant to be broken After that, its not meant to be spoken All promises break, then they hurt this makes the system to stop being alert Every promise you made, you broke You disappeared in the end like smoke You did it all even after begging me not to You made me believe its just us two You said its a forever kind of thing little did I know you meant its a fling The words you spoke, they swooped me You said "the one I love is she" You didn't mean it, you should've told me Before you left, went across the sea You told me not to ever give up I obeyed like a little pup I shouldn't have, now I know For you it was an entertaining show You broke them, every single one And then you said "I'm over you hon" I don't understand how you did it Amazing acting, I have to admit. Now I am stuck here, for maybe ever In this world where I'm not so clever I don't understand anything, this place was ours How do I stay here alone under the stars? How do you expect me to understand the lies How do you expect me to stop the cries

she is shattered

She is a lover, he can't take that away

She is emotional, she's born that way 

When she fell for him, he knew 

He knew it was hard but the love grew 

It grew to such an extent that she went crazy 

And when he left all she felt was hazy 

She was completely shattered 

Nothing to her mattered 

She didn't feel pain so she did it 

She abused herself and didn't quit it

She bled and bled but no pain came along 

It only came when came that one sad song 

She was completely shattered 

Nothing to her mattered 

She let herself loose 

Let herself choose 

She started choosing bad 

Her life was just too sad 

Fake acts till sun down 

Then she wore the sadness crown 

She was completely shattered 

Nothing to her mattered 

She lost all hope, she thought of letting go 

It just happens that life doesn't go with the flow 

She tried hard, just so very hard 

But for others her heart was barred 

No one could enter her messed up head

No one knew to which direction she led 

She was completely shattered 

Nothing to her mattered 

she wanted to blame someone 

Except the one responsible, anyone 

She couldn't do it anymore now 

She just took a breathe and then a bow 

She made her decision to sleep forever 

So that the one she loves would be bothered never 

It was meant to be over right then 

But life took away the pen 

She couldn't write her own story 

Fate wouldn't allow her to get glory 

She wanted to stop it all but couldn't 

She could've died but she wouldn't 

She couldn't let him feel guilty for life 

She'd rather put down that knife 

She suffered and put up another act 

She was still broken, that's a fact 

She lives now, yet she dies daily 

She lives now but just so frailly

ready to change

Its time for the last good bye There is time before I stop the cry It hurts to see you leave this way I can only wait night and day You go now, you go forever All I can feel is this weird tremor Why did it have to happen like this? Why couldn't you give a good bye kiss? Is it necessary for you to leave me alone? Do you have to make me feel thrown? I ask you this one last time, Giving a second chance wouldn't be a crime I promise I wouldn't let you regret it I don't want to feel down in a pit I've learnt from my past mistakes I know a lot of time it takes But I know I am ready right now If you coming back is possible anyhow I will make it perfect this time No more will there be a sad rhyme I would cherish life, I would cherish you I would be, for you, completely new give me this last chance, I beg now I'm sitting on my knees after taking a bow I ask you now, I ask you at last Will you be with me and forget the past?

I hate him

I hate him, I hate him so much 

I hate how I feel because of his touch

I hate how he talks

I hate the way he walks

I hate how he makes me smile 

I hate how he makes me wanna travel miles 

I hate how he looks so amazing 

I hate how he increases my craving 

I hate it when he is sweet 

I hate it when he offers me a seat

I hate it how he is always so calm

I hate how he stops me from self harm 

I hate him so much, I hate all of him

I hate how he used to cater to all my whim 

I hate him, there is nothing more to it

Then why does he make me happy every little bit?