The end

There he was, looking as gorgeous as ever 

Just one look gave me a shiver 

He came close, looked into my eyes

And asked 'where to?', I replied 'to the skies'

Unbelievable it was, he was throne 

At least that is what I had thought 

A while passed, though it had been a nice run 

I wasn't ready for the end, I was just not 

But still it happened against my will

The strength I had to fight was nil 

All hope had left my sight 

I picked up the knife shivering in freight 

Sliced a bit, let blood pass through 

Slowly I lost consciousness too 

And that is how the story finally ends 

Not with enemies neither with friends 

Started, now will end soon

It started with a little scratch 

Ended up as big red patch 

I bled day and night 

Never thought I would see this sight 

But now I wonder how to remove it 

How did this depression hit 

These suicidal thoughts that flow my way 

How do I put them aside, far away 

He was the one to always take care 

But now it's my turn, life isn't fair 

He left and I have reached this state 

Up until now it was everything but hate 

But now hate is in me, not for him 

But just for me, for all of my whim 

How did I reach this place in life 

How did I end up in this strife

The answers are not known to me 

All I know is that hate consumes me 

And the end it very near 

No more with a cover that is sheer 

December dream

Someday I will realise what it was 

Someday you will know your loss 

I don't know what we were 

But I loved you, I swear 

I'm hurting I know, doesn't matter 

I still hear your name and shatter 

But do you care? Would you ever?

Would you ever smile at me? Never 

I die daily just thinking about you 

But you are happy there without a clue 

Someday will come, at least I hope

When you will know why I broke 

I wish for you to know I love you 

Yes that's my December dream, you 

Just that you know what you're worth 

What you've meant to me since our birth 

Joyous tears

Does such a thing happen?

I never believed so

Now my cheeks have dampened 

And I have that glow 

As tears of joy stride down 

I wonder how this happening took place 

I laugh while crying like a clown 

This is what you've done, given grace 

I didn't know one could cry and smile

I cry because I'm fragile 

This is my first time with a grin 

It's all because you talked to me 

I've a hard exterior but I'm sensitive within 

By means of the simple words I've got glee 

What have you done to me? 

I cried for happiness, it isn't like me 

You've made me crazy

My heart beats faster when I think of you 

I start to get weak in the knees

The memories of you and me gush in 

The world starts to get hazy 

I've lost the means to get your love 

But the fact that you just speak 

Or maybe just write to me,

It sets me on a flight to cloud nine 

It makes me shine 

The dream catcher

The sad dreams, the scary nightmares 

They came one after the other in layers 

Scared and unhappy I stayed for years and years 

Thought that I will just get used to the tears 

But that wasn't god's plan for me 

God had sent a dreamcatcher, it was he 

He came, he conquered all of my heart and soul 

He filled up that empty hole 

Somehow he managed to stop the dreams 

No more did the tears shed to extremes 

He made happiness engulf me,

Made me fall in love with he 

But that wasn't god's plan as well 

I was all over again made to dwell 

This time I knew, dreamcatchers won't help 

Because this time it was the dreamcatcher's fault itself 

No four leaved clover

Love faith hope trust peace 

Words that are just a tease 

You think, think and then over think 

It's not worth as it fades away in a blink 

We were meant to be forever 

But we parted, thought that would happen never 

How I still don't know 

But you've got it stuck in me, the show 

It's on replay in my mind 

You were my best find 

You are stuck inside 

From you, how am I to hide? 

It hurts so much, hope is what has me alive 

But how could I be so naive? 

Hope is just a word, it's false 

It's something one dreams that will solve the brawls 

It isn't that easy, you've got to trust 

What did I just say? That's not just 

Trust is a lie, no such thing 

You have trust? You'll be crying 

Why do this to yourself 

Get yourself down from the shelf 

You aren't for show.

You deserve to know 

You are hated in this world 

In the blanket, stay curled 

You have to hear more dear 

There is a lot for you to fear 

It's time for death to take over 

There is no such thing as a four leaved clover

Someday, dead

Someday soon you will find the darkness you require 

Someday soon you will reach a level from where you can't go any higher 

You will soon see the end of your life

That day you'd be lying on the floor with a knife 

There'd be a pool of blood,you'd lay in that 

No one would care,no one would ask where you at 

It would be a joyous day, everyone would be smiling.

They wouldn't care if you're dead or alive, there will be a little fake crying.

You know that you're just a huge burden 

You're no more than an acquaintance hon.

The sooner you die the better it would be for the world 

Just go already, just go now,don't wait... You'll ruin something else

I miss him

So far away I stand

Amidst no enemy no friend 

Alone I am, I know it well,

Feeling lonely and dwell 

Gloom is what surrounds me 

Still on my mind is only he

So many problems I ignore 

But thoughts of him start a war 

I can't get through this 

It's him I miss 

It's torture for me now 

Getting past him is possible how 

I feel as if I have reached the end 

There is nothing I can mend

Maybe it is actually over 

Yet I think maybe that can happen never  

Stood strong for a little too long

Stood strong for a long time 

But now with gloom I again climb

Have to start from the beginning 

Without falling or even trembling 

I relapsed, it happened again 

How could I let the blood drain?

It just happened, how I don't know 

In the dark the blade just glow 

Seeing it, felt so inviting 

The urge is what I kept fighting 

Finally I had to give in 

I finally, again had committed a sin

As the blood gushed out of my skin

I felt that he had had his win 

But still after this loss, again

I go back trying to regain 

Regain what I lost long ago 

Regain what might make me low 

I reminisce those times, still 

I feel it all that I had felt with thrill 

I relapsed and now I have to start 

Start again this time without breaking my heart

Proud

She is proud of herself  She can't tell you why 

You will judge, not because she is shy 

It's been a while since she held a blade

It's been a while since she has seen the blood red shade

She is proud, she has the right to be 

She smiles now, but still she isn't free

She isn't free from the thoughts that haunt her 

She isn't free from the tears that taunt her 

She is proud, yes she finally is 

But still inside confused and overwhelmed she is 

She could just keep smiling and pretending 

But that's like rules are bending 

It is not nice to fake for so long 

It's those thoughts that make it all so wrong 

The thoughts that she can't get out of her head 

The thoughts with which she goes to bed 

She is alright on the outside 

But inside she is just finding a place to hide 

She is proud, she has every right to be 

But even today she isn't free

Real beauty

Looking at herself in the mirror with a smile 

She poses and passes away a while 

Then it starts Her smile slowly fades away

As each peace of article is thrown away

As she strips down she starts feeling bad

Looking at her body, she starts to feel sad

She sees the scars, sees the fat

She thinks if she could cover her face with a hat 

She is embarrassed, yes she is 

She is suicidal but still wants to be his 

She knows she isn't worth anything to him 

She still wants to cater to all of his whim 

She is a tough girl we all should know 

Its just taking time for her to grow 

It'll take time but soon she'll realize 

That the real beauty lies inside

and she was lost

He left her there
taking her dreams
her hopes and aspirations
i know that was mean

she did not say a thing
she was too shocked for that
her heart couldnt even stop him
coz it was still suffering

where did it go wrong
what did she do
why did he leave her in the middle of nowhere
was her sin so strong

she gave it all she could
her mind,her body,her heart,her soul
she practically wrote her life to him
and hence now alone she stood

also she bears it all alone
the pain and the torture of being left
now that he is not with her anymore
one cannot find the traces of happiness in her tone

her laughter that flowed like a river
whose presence was enough to fill up the room
now squats in a corner as an anonymous identity
and is startled by a sudden shiver

the bold,the beautiful,the hale,the hearty
the words fail to relate to her anymore
gloom,despair and endless doom
she has lost all the faith in any pact or treaty

she is now as good as a ghost
as she is now described as the shadow of the man
coz her soul taken away by a storm
and it was the aftermath of the tempest,that she was lost

message to you

True you lost out on your dream guy

But have you ever wondered

If he was worth more than the smile on your face

Or if he was worth more than the happiness you would feel

When you were just being you……..

True he made you feel as if

You were on seventh heaven when with him

He made the world a beautiful place for you

But why do you ignore the fact

That the world that he made beautiful

Was visible to you and as ever beautiful

Before he came to your life

The reason it didn’t seem beautiful

Was you were simply too ignorant to realize it…..

True he made you realize yourself

He made you to believe in you

With him you knew you existed

But that also means your persona has existed since before

He was just the medium to bring it to light…..

I don’t say that he wasn’t important to you

What I say that you are important to yourself

I don’t hate you for being mad for him

What I wanna remind you is your madness about yourself

I truly love you for what you were

And hence want you to find yourself all over again

had to go

In this misery I've learnt to subside 
Not having you by my side
It has taught me quite a bit
Even if you were the perfect fit
You had to go, you had to give pain
You had to make me feel disdain
You have left me here in sorrow
Now my heart feels hollow
How much are you going to make me suffer
I hope when this is over I am tougher
I know I am forlorn
I know I am forever torn
But still I hope I am stitched up soon
And life again starts to feel like a boon

forever kind of love

You, my forever kind of love
Everything comes later, you're above
You're the one I trust without doubt
Only one I truly care about
You've given me so many miraculous times
Why am I supposed to end them with sad rhymes
Is it necessary for me to feel this misery
I try not to, but I feel really paltry
Despondent is how I feel daily
You've left me in a state of melancholy 
You say I can change it all
But its tough, I try and get up but then I fall
It keeps happening over and over again
I wanna stop, how do I refrain? 
You could have done a lot, changed it all
I wouldn't have had to do the crawl
Its important now, just please understand
The gesture I need doesn't have to be grand

don't go away

Don't go away
There may be no point 
But don't just sway
Our souls are joint 
Its not only me
Its not only you 
I can't set you free
Coz its us two
Don't go away
My heart will stop
Don't just sway
You will make me drop
Why is this happening
You are going so fast
My cheeks are dampening
This was meant to last
Don't go away
I beg you now, please
Don't just sway
I'll keep you at ease
I need you here with me
I need to keep you happy
I'm on my knee
You are making me sappy
Don't go away
Don't just sway
I beg you to stay
For me you're the sun's ray 
Nothing can happen 
Not without you 

crushed me

Is there any reason I'm still stuck on you? Why am I here, this without any clue You've changed me completely You've made me fall drastically I fell, you caught me mid way But after a while on the ground I lay I was crushed, is there anymore to it? I gave you my heart and you stomped on it Is there anything else for you to say? Explanations to that heartbeat in May? You proved to me that love doesn't last You proved it that what matters is the past You said you'd never let me go And I just went along the amazing flow I shouldn't have done what I did But you forgave me, you put a lid Then what sense does it make to leave like this How can you just stop loving, how can you diss No more does this world make sense You made tears fall that are so dense If you wanted to crush me, should've told me I wouldn't have been with you so closely But now its too late, you've done the harm You have broken in and set off the alarm Though my heart still beats for you It wants to hate you too You can't mend what is done now But start loving me again somehow?

promises

Promises, they are meant to be broken After that, its not meant to be spoken All promises break, then they hurt this makes the system to stop being alert Every promise you made, you broke You disappeared in the end like smoke You did it all even after begging me not to You made me believe its just us two You said its a forever kind of thing little did I know you meant its a fling The words you spoke, they swooped me You said "the one I love is she" You didn't mean it, you should've told me Before you left, went across the sea You told me not to ever give up I obeyed like a little pup I shouldn't have, now I know For you it was an entertaining show You broke them, every single one And then you said "I'm over you hon" I don't understand how you did it Amazing acting, I have to admit. Now I am stuck here, for maybe ever In this world where I'm not so clever I don't understand anything, this place was ours How do I stay here alone under the stars? How do you expect me to understand the lies How do you expect me to stop the cries

she is shattered

She is a lover, he can't take that away

She is emotional, she's born that way 

When she fell for him, he knew 

He knew it was hard but the love grew 

It grew to such an extent that she went crazy 

And when he left all she felt was hazy 

She was completely shattered 

Nothing to her mattered 

She didn't feel pain so she did it 

She abused herself and didn't quit it

She bled and bled but no pain came along 

It only came when came that one sad song 

She was completely shattered 

Nothing to her mattered 

She let herself loose 

Let herself choose 

She started choosing bad 

Her life was just too sad 

Fake acts till sun down 

Then she wore the sadness crown 

She was completely shattered 

Nothing to her mattered 

She lost all hope, she thought of letting go 

It just happens that life doesn't go with the flow 

She tried hard, just so very hard 

But for others her heart was barred 

No one could enter her messed up head

No one knew to which direction she led 

She was completely shattered 

Nothing to her mattered 

she wanted to blame someone 

Except the one responsible, anyone 

She couldn't do it anymore now 

She just took a breathe and then a bow 

She made her decision to sleep forever 

So that the one she loves would be bothered never 

It was meant to be over right then 

But life took away the pen 

She couldn't write her own story 

Fate wouldn't allow her to get glory 

She wanted to stop it all but couldn't 

She could've died but she wouldn't 

She couldn't let him feel guilty for life 

She'd rather put down that knife 

She suffered and put up another act 

She was still broken, that's a fact 

She lives now, yet she dies daily 

She lives now but just so frailly

ready to change

Its time for the last good bye There is time before I stop the cry It hurts to see you leave this way I can only wait night and day You go now, you go forever All I can feel is this weird tremor Why did it have to happen like this? Why couldn't you give a good bye kiss? Is it necessary for you to leave me alone? Do you have to make me feel thrown? I ask you this one last time, Giving a second chance wouldn't be a crime I promise I wouldn't let you regret it I don't want to feel down in a pit I've learnt from my past mistakes I know a lot of time it takes But I know I am ready right now If you coming back is possible anyhow I will make it perfect this time No more will there be a sad rhyme I would cherish life, I would cherish you I would be, for you, completely new give me this last chance, I beg now I'm sitting on my knees after taking a bow I ask you now, I ask you at last Will you be with me and forget the past?

I hate him

I hate him, I hate him so much 

I hate how I feel because of his touch

I hate how he talks

I hate the way he walks

I hate how he makes me smile 

I hate how he makes me wanna travel miles 

I hate how he looks so amazing 

I hate how he increases my craving 

I hate it when he is sweet 

I hate it when he offers me a seat

I hate it how he is always so calm

I hate how he stops me from self harm 

I hate him so much, I hate all of him

I hate how he used to cater to all my whim 

I hate him, there is nothing more to it

Then why does he make me happy every little bit?

You will understand

There is hope, always is 

It is something that guides you to bliss

Be patient life takes a turn 

It takes time but that's so that you can learn 

You will understand how things are 

You will understand that your goal isn't that far 

It takes time but it happens in the end 

You will find love you won't have to pretend 

You will have that smile you long for 

No more will you have to get ready for war 

You will feel what you once felt 

It'll be all something with which you have dealt 

Life is a cycle it keeps repeating 

It is something worth creating 

Trying a bit, a few extra experiments 

Then you can have a life worth compliments 

This world

If only harming myself were that easy 

I realize that I fell in love deep and crazy 

But now it's over so why not just do it ?

Because when they see the cuts they throw a fit 

They care yet they don't, it's a show 

It's different when my face has a glow 

When I'm happy they ask "why did you let it go?"

When im sad they tell me not to feel low 

This world we live in is mad 

This world we live in tends to make life sad 

If only crying myself to sleep were that easy 

I realize that family that doesn't care is crazy 

But when they scream and shout the care goes 

Those time I've to be on my toes 

The times I try to smile from the heart 

I am told that it's no longer supposed to be a part 

When I try and enjoy, when I try and forget 

Other things are reminded so that tears can be shed 

This world we live in is mad 

This world we live in tends to make life sad 

Just so very sad 

no body no trace just heartbreaks

My hands try to reach out for you
But every time I try I remember
I have done a lot n now it can't be
I am finally aware together we were
But now we are miles n miles away
Although be the distance 2 steps
But miles is what my heart says
The memories are in my heart kept
Wish no more would I see your face
So that I can die as early as it takes
& leave behind no body no trace
& take nevertheless more heartbreaks

that one person

whenever i meet your glaze
my world gets ablaze
all those memories shoot back
as i loose the time track
my world goes upside down
as i end up with a frown
my face wet with tears
as it has been these years
but this time they're for you
who was always there in my blue
you've torn my life apart
i wish to begin with a new start
i wanna be friends again
but i still cant believe as you were fain
fain on you and me together being one
now i know this couldn't have ever been done....

waiting

I am waiting for you to come to me

Am waiting here under the tree

Come to me and hold my arm

Without giving me any sort of harm

Pull me close to your body for warmth

& yet i will get a new birth

I am waiting for you to come to me

Am waiting here under the tree

Come n hold me by my waist

Dont let the moments go waste

Make my heart beat normally again

& have it stop driving me insane

soon there will be a day

Soon there will be a day when you fall 

You fall in love with me without a single brawl

Soon there will be a day when you'd kiss me and mean it 

That day I'd tell you that I would never quit 

Soon there will be a day when you would hold me tight 

That day I'd promise you that I'd never leave your sight 

Soon there will be a day when you would say I love you 

I will reply by saying I love you too, forever and it's true

Soon there will be a day when you will tell me I am ms.right 

I will tell you that I knew you are my mr.right 

Soon there will be a day when you would go down on one knee 

That day I would be the same old happy, insane me 

I would forever wait for these days 

Till then let me think that I am just in a phase 

Let me be till at least one of these days arrive 

I promise Not to die, If I do you will make me revive

break or hope

To break or to have hope?
A question with which I can't cope 
He smiles, he is happy 
But the reason makes me unhappy 
The reason for his happiness isn't me 
I let him be completely free 
But this, its going too far 
I feel less than par 
I want to be the reason behind his smile its been more than a while 
If it wasn't meant to be 
Shouldn't I have been over he? 
So deep down I've fallen 
its as if my soul has been stolen 
I'm trapped where joy seems like a crime 
I feel like a sad artist of mime 
Can't open up or else I'll break 
All I need is not to be fake 
But how does one fake without falling apart 
its broken you know, The heart

seems sad

When Everything seems sad 

And Confusion surrounds you 

You've got a disease that's pretty bad 

Its a broken heart all through

Doesn't mend easily 

And makes You feel bizarre all along 

You change completely

its like a never ending sad song

Tears come by too often 

All is lost, nothing to move on to 

Its as if there is no direction 

Nothing makes sense, nothing seems true

Is the heart still beating? 

You have no clue 

Its not here, it must be bleeding 

It must be cheating on you

It beats for him now 

Yet it let's you feel the pain 

You kneel down and bow 

In front of the brain just to be a little sane

For sanity isn't for the broken hearted 

It may be for the dear and departed 

But for you my love, there is nothing

Doesn't make sense, but you're just hurting

ends here

So here it ends up finally 

our goodbyes, angrily

Maybe it was meant to be never than forever 

Or maybe the time is being clever

Work things out, kind of a tough option 

Because of a barrier in my head,

For you and me its kind of no junction 

Till one drops dead

It has been not very pleasant 

Disturbing me love, making his lie descend 

Its grows lesser day after the other 

As if a caterpillar is coming from flutter.

Reach back to the beginning,now should we? 

In search of life if that is wanted by thee?

waiting to elope

Lies,dont people get tired of them?

They say it often enough to tear even the last bit 

It all starts with just one look 

As if it were a fairy tale book 

You go deep into the fantasy you're living 

Suddenly something happens that is too unforgiving 

You start with a smile from ear to ear 

Towards the end you're just searching for a peer 

The beginning seemed like destiny 

But that was a lie by which you messed with me 

All the fake love you showed 

Now it seems as if you were just bored 

How were you so good? 

You care but it still isn't understood

You shouldve stopped playing long ago 

Now, for me, its too late to let go 

After all is over, I sit here with hope 

Waiting for a day when you'd come and we'd elope

trust me

Its over you should know it well now 

You can't make him love you anyhow 

It wasn't your fault, trust me 

All he wanted was to be free 

There was no stopping him from going 

There wasn't meant to be anymore loving 

You tried your best, believe me

You were good, just not good enough for him to see 

Let go now, its over forever 

You may wanna take another breath never 

But trust me life will change 

It will be better, not this strange 

Trust me, he didn't deserve you 

He had never felt love that was true 

let go, trust me this one last time 

I'm your inner voice, won't make you do any crime